“Be the Change you wish to see in the world”
Who I am as a person, what I believe in and how I interact with the world around me. These questions are all fragments, small parts of a bigger whole that makes up me. Like pieces of a puzzle, there are parts of me that interact and live with so many other parts of myself at a micro level and even more parts of the society at a macro level. Just like the small fragments reflect a bigger picture of me, individual portraits of each of us makes up our communities and our world. They are all interconnected,intertwined and intermingled with one another. Nothing exists in silos.
Conventional understanding paired education and character development under one umbrella. In fact, the function of education was in part character development. Education meant that a person was being afforded the opportunity to learn, develop and grow emotionally, personally, and spiritually. Education would result in a positive transformation for the individual who would continue to give back to the bigger whole of society and this cycle would continue. The cycle, however, has been disrupted. And we need to be aware of its implications for you, me and us…AS A WHOLE.
I read a book on the life of Mahatma Gandhi at around age 13. I remember many things from that book but one thing that resonated the most is the quote “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” This impacted me deeply even then but I would come to understand its reality much later in life. To date, I have a frame hanging in my 10 year old son’s bedroom that reads the same quote. It’s almost intuitive to put something up on the wall, as if a part of us believes that if we looked at it enough, we may become that. That’s not why I have it there though. I interact with that quote everyday. Especially when it gets hard and sometimes, it gets hard but the frame serves as a reminder of why I need to push through and move onward. These words don’t just live inside of me, they are a part of who I am. It is shaping the upbringing of my children, in how I interact with my husband and family, in how I treat my neighbors and what contributions I make to the lives of students around me. Small parts that make up a big whole. It is the small things that matter a lot; like having family dinners together, having tea with your spouse, or stopping everything to just watch the butterfly your little toddler is mesmerized by. These small things have big value. They translate into meaningful moments and really add up to beautify your life as a whole.
We do not see ourselves as fragments. We see ourselves as a whole. And from that angle, our flaws and our strengths sometimes fade. We lose our balance and because of it, a way to stay grounded in the middle. We dwindle on the polar extremes of the spectrum, bouncing from one end to the other without any virtuous field that can magnetize us back to the middle and be the guide as our true Northstar. This imbalance particularly becomes an issue when we don’t appreciate the value of the small fragments that make up the whole. As small pieces, our strengths may shrink when we need to hold on to them most and our flaws expand when we need to contain them within parameters. We fail to see our faults at all or only see our faults and nothing good. These are polarized extremes and we all seem to be getting pushed towards embracing these extremes. Sometimes by choice but mostly by ignorance and oblivion. The vast majority of us were raised to value virtues of honesty, integrity, generosity, and justice. They are no longer values but rather static attributes that we like to hang in frames on our walls. They signify to our friends and family that we believe in good values as we make lip service to their presence in our lives. In reality though, they are just token attributes that wane very quickly against the backdrop of our daily actions. These universally held values act like forces that bind us together in our humanity. When they no longer remain universal, society as a whole is threatened. Our fragments are different but they combine to make a beautiful whole because we understand the value of each piece. If we devalue each piece, the whole collapses on itself. This is precisely what the modern world has done to our value system. It has become a footnote that we may occasionally mention but mostly leave it at the bottom, just as a reference point in case the need arises to access it.
Education is a big part of society. Character education is even bigger. And makes society what it is. An invaluable conduit that disseminates knowledge and prepares the next generation to take their place in the world. If smaller parts of this big force are infiltrated and become corrupt, the bigger picture begins to lose its form. In a society driven by race for trends, modernity and consumerism, it’s hardly a surprise that we are being subsumed by these forces more than pursuing them freely by our intentional will. Things that used to have substantial meaning and purpose are being questioned or doubted in the name of reason and science. Values that were once seen as universal phenomenon are voraciously debated. The world I see for myself and my children is more expansive, more tolerant, and more meaningful. A world that tugs and pushes towards polarizing one another pushes itself to its demise. I want to show my children that my curiosity, doubts and struggles do not amount to devaluing things around me. Rather, it teaches me to learn the real value of things and strive to find their right place. In this world and the universe. A society that affords us the freedom to question and doubt faith, should also offer the same right to affirm it and hold on to its essence. Reason, logic and science are central to education because they are its brain power. Faith, values and ethics are central to education because they are its heart. They work together to form a complete whole.
The agencies and mechanisms that cultivate virtuous character traits in us have drastically changed. In modern times, the education system is not designed to teach my son or daughter to be honest or dishonest. It’s designed to teach them mastery of subject matters like math, science, english, etc. Our children may be recognized as honourable citizens through stickers that read “Your child did the right thing” when they display a virtuous act but that may be the extent of character development in most cases. Character development is an active science that needs to be taught like math, english and science. It needs to be cultivated in a human being with diligent, active and concerted effort. It is our communinal right and responsibility to be aware of this first. Only then can we begin to evaluate the options we are choosing for our children.
This is not a small matter but requires each of us to look closely at our small daily choices and actions. Until we commit to that with honesty and sincerity, our intentions, efforts and capacity to educate our children in the way and manner that follows prophetic guidance will remain incomplete at best and risky at worst. For their life here and the next. May Allah guide our hearts and minds to His messenger’s light, his way and practice. May He give us the enabling grace to instill in them good adab with Allah, His messenger peace be upon him, and His creation. If we can preserve adab, we give ourselves a good chance to not just preserve good in all humanity but also the hope in humanity. Our prophet peace be upon him was sent to perfect good character. Adab is the way of achieving that good character. And through it, being the change we wish to see in the world.
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